Plans exist in the recesses of my mind

A to do list that never makes it to paper

But hands are full and it gets pushed to later

So if 35 is middle age here is to growing and changing the rest of my life.

May I see more fruit in the last half than the first half.

And let me look back and say, it’s only getting better.

Dreams feel too intangible

Like a breath

I’m unwilling to release

For fear of losing it

He can

He will

He has

And

He is.

I never want to miss all the big and small ways

That we show up for each other

They ways that I feel seen

In the midst of chaos

And loved in the mess

Now is the time to be present. And be listening. To trust the future to the Lord. To rest and rejoice in the life I am living, even in the chaos and clutter.  Not to be so preoccupied with moving ahead that I don’t listen to the Lord in here and now.

But the answer to my question is “yes”. My house, my life, is full of sacred. But it’s not the stuff, no matter how valuable to me they are.

When my first child was born, I was shocked at the amount of things I simply could not accomplish because my hands were always full. How can a baby that sleeps most of the time keep my hands so busy?

I resolve to trust the Lord even if is only one step at a time.

To be expectant, and still present

To be grateful with out condition

To be generous with what I have
and when I fail at all these things, to repent and lean on the Spirit to start again.

lately it feels like a bit of an aimless wandering

The traditions of my childhood felt like an anchor

A cornerstone of each and every year

A Christmas star if you will