Maybe my legacy will be fresh baked muffins

Or a great cup of coffee

Maybe it will be a book

Or an open door and a listening ear

In so many ways I was feeling the weight of motherhood. The responsibility of shaping our kids young years. Lamenting to my husband, I said, “But I want them to make good memories.”

Loss can haunt us. And the Lord can heal us. Without denying what should have been.

I got nothing done today

But all this nothing adds up

to a whole lot of everything

And all these days of nothing and no one

Will lead to a life that was full of love

Craving beauty is as natural as hunger for a good meal

I long for beautiful things

But my appetite for beautiful has been tainted

Chasing constant entertainment will not leave me fulfilled. It will not erase the difficult things that have happened, nor will It out run any hardships that are to come.

There is no date for it on the calendar, but my favorite days are the in between days. The perfect middle between winter and spring and the day when you can feel summer start to ever so slightly relent in favor of autumn.

But somehow my subconscious need to be independent and self sufficient leaks all over my children. “I figure it out myself. I don’t ask for help. why do they??” Whispers a voice deep inside.

Now is the transition

When successs is measured

Not by doing but being

Not accomplishing

But experiencing

Plans exist in the recesses of my mind

A to do list that never makes it to paper

But hands are full and it gets pushed to later